He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
