Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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