Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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