I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
