Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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