how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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