Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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