you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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