what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You did what with his pubic hair?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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