He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize