So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
