I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
