So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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