this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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