Buhtt sex?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
