Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
