What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Rumble strips road head = magical
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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