As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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