Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This is my gift to your gina
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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