My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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