You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
