the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
