Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
