I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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