oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize