batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
