I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize