remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
