im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
