I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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