filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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