Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
