oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
