my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
