just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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