Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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