i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
