She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
