i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
