But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
