I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The power of my boobs compel you
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
