She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
