I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
