It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
