man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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