you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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