and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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