5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
