I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
