i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
