cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
