Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
