I have demons in me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize