I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
