That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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