I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
