I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
