We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
