Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I came so hard my ears popped.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
