I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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