New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
