I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
