mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
