bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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